A Dog That Talks . . .

"You can bring me the same," the dog says. "And I'd like mine very cold, please."

The bartender can hardly believe what he has just heard. "A talking dog?" he asks.

"Yes," the ventriloquist says, acting as if it's nothing special. "I worked hard to teach him and finally he just started talking."

"What a boon that would be to my business," the bartender thinks to himself. He says to the ventriloquist, "I'll give you $50 for him."

"No," says the ventriloquist. "The little fellow loves me very much, and it would hurt him if I were to sell him."

"I'll give you $100," the bartender says.

"No, I couldn't part with him for so little."

"OK, I'll make it $5,000," the bartender says.

The ventriloquist gives it some thought and finally says, "OK, he's yours."

The bartender gets the money from his safe and hands it to the ventriloquist. In the door, the ventriloquist turns to the dog and says with great sadness in his voice, "So long, old friend."

"Old friend, my foot!" the dog says. "Is this the way humans pay for love and fidelity? I'll never say another word!"