Elephant Quips
A: It depends on where you lost them.
Q: Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
A: Because the white ones get dirty too fast.
Q: Why do elephants live in herds?
A: To get a wholesale reduction on the blue tennis shoes.
Q: Why do elephants float on their backs?
A: So they don't get their tennis shoes wet.
Q: What goes clomp,clomp,clomp, squish ,clomp,clomp,clomp, swish..?
A: An elephant with a wet tennis shoe!
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a taxi?
A: Four. (One next to the driver and 3 in back)
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a taxi?
A: None, it's full of elephants.
Q: How do you know when an elephant is visiting your house?
A: There's a taxi outside with three elephants in it.
Q: How do you put an elephant into refrigerator?
A: Open door, put elephant in, close door.
Q: How do you put a giraffe into refrigerator?
A: Open door, get elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: Fridge is not large enough to hold them all.
Q: How do elephants get up into oak trees?
A: They sit on an acorn and wait.
Q: How do elephants get down from oak trees?
A: They sit on a leaf and wait for autumn.
Q: Why are crocodiles long, thin, and flat?
A: They walk under trees in Autumn.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From jumping out of oak trees - they're impatient!
Q: Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
A: To soften their landing when they jump out of oak trees.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: Why shouldn't you go into the woods at 5 o'clock?
A: Because that is when the elephants do their parachute jumping.
Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went into the woods at 5 o'clock.
Q: Why do elephants have cracks between their toes?
A: For carrying their library cards.
Q: Why do elephants have cracks between their toes?
A: To give the ants/natives a 50/50 chance.
Originally published February 05, 2003.
