Ever Wonder What Your Cat Was Thinking?
DAY 759 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to eradicate my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 765 - Caught a mouse and brought them the body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was . . . Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how cruel they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called shampoo; What minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the bite mark on their thumb.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices; I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of allergies; Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.; The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
