How To Photograph A Cat
Put the cat on a pillow.
- Set up your camera.
- Put the cat back on the pillow.
- Get a bowl of food and put it next to the pillow.
- Put the cat back on the pillow.
- Grab the food bowl and follow the cat. As you run, hold the bowl in our cat's face, tempting her to eat.
- See if the neighbours will come over and pick up the sofa while you snap a picture of the cat underneath.
- Cross the names of your neighbours off the list for your next party.
- Put the cat back on the pillow.
- Place a catnip-stuffed mouse in front of your cat and wait for your cat to go crazy.
- Go back to the pet store and demand a refund.
- Decide on a family portrait with the cat instead.
- To stop the argument over which child gets to pose with the cat, agree to take pictures of each child holding the cat on her lap.
- Tell each child that it doesn't matter who holds the cat first because you'll shuffle the pictures after they're developed and look at them in a different order than the order they were taken.
- Get more cats, one for each child, and go back to step one.
- Set up your camera.
Originally published October 21, 2004.
