I Wanna be a Bear
Published Feb 26, 2003
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate,
you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wanna be a bear.
Originally published February 27, 2003.
