Animal Humor

I Wanna be a Bear

Feb 26, 2003
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I Wanna be a Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate,
you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.

He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

I wanna be a bear.

Originally published February 27, 2003.

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