- If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
- Don't go out without ID.
- Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
- Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
- Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
- Always give people a friendly greeting.
- When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
- If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
