Politically correct terms for cat owners
- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator. - My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job. - My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools. - My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity. - My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator. - My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair relocation stylist. - My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile", she enjoys the proximity of food - My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next. - My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative. - My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert. - My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced. - My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced. - My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture. - My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination (which should always be the food dish).
Originally published November 14, 2002.
