Signs your Kitty may be Planning to Kill You
Published Jan 01, 1900
Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
You find a stash of "Feline Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
Cyanide paw prints all over the house.
Droppings in the litter box spell out "REDRUM."
Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey's 900 number on your bill.
Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
Actually acknowledges your presence.
Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
You find a piece of paper labeled "MY WIL" that reads "LEEV AWL 2 KAT."
Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
