Squirrel !

The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that they would just have to live with them.
The Methodists decided they should deal with the squirrels lovingly in the style of Charles Wesley. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within 3 days, they were all back in the church.
The Baptists had the best solution. They voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them at Easter and Christmas.
Originally published March 14, 2003.