- By sharpening his claws on the chair leg, he's carved a pretty good likeness of Joaquin Phoenix.
- Recent hairballs include alarmingly large chunks of postman.
- "I'm not Fluffy anymore; call me Muhammad al Fluf-Rahim."
- Catches mice, only to keep them as pets.
- Starts sending you parts of the dog through the mail.
- Created a bunker in his litter box.
- Stacks his hairballs into the shape of Devil's Tower, Wyoming.
- Has bet it all on the Cubs winning the series this year.
- Can't stop purring "Helter Skelter."
- Now kills mice by sending them through your wood chipper.
- While cleaning the litter box, you find the bodies of several drifters.
- He just coughed up a brainball.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
