Upgrade Your Cat
An Unlikely Conversation
(written by Terry Herrin in a reply to Glenda Moore on Software Creations BBS)
Bart: "I'd like to upgrade my Siamese to an Abyssinian."
Clerk: "Do you want a red or a tan Abby?"
Bart: "I dunno. Is there a difference besides the color?"
Clerk: "Well, the red one is faster, but costs quite a bit more. Personally, I don't think it's worth it. The price/performance isn't as good as the tan one."
Bart: "Do you think I need that extra speed?"
Clerk: "Depends on what you're getting it for. Any big dogs near your house?"
Bart: "Yes."
Clerk: "Well then, you'd better go ahead and get the red one. Unless you want to save money and get the tan. The tan _is_ upgradable to the red later. We offer our "Red Dye Overdrive Kit" for $100. Seventy percent increase in performance."
Bart: "Let's go with a tan one."
Clerk: "Ok. That's gonna run you $400. What size litterbox do you have?"
Bart: "10x12 inches."
Clerk: "You're gonna have to replace it with a bigger one."
Bart: "Why?"
Clerk: "A Siamese litterbox won't handle the demands of an Abby. You need at _least_ a 14x16."
Bart: "Okay, how much is that gonna cost?"
Clerk: "$20. You're also gonna need a second water bowl."
Bart: "I am?"
Clerk: "An Abby tends to run hotter than a Siamese. A second water bowl will keep the cat from overheating: $10."
Bart: "I'll take it."
Clerk: "You weren't planning on putting that Abby in the same carrier as the Siamese, were you?"
Bart: "Uh...yeah."
Clerk: "Not a good idea. The Abby might not fit, and even if it does you'd probably want a bigger carrier for better air circulation."
Bart: "How much?"
Clerk: "$100."
Bart: "Okay. Boy, I'm almost buying a whole new cat setup."
Clerk: "Well, you can still use the same brushes, shampoo and cat toys."
Bart: "True. So, what do I do with the Siamese?"
Clerk: "We don't take trade-ins. Maybe you can sell it."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
