Why Dog's Won't Use Computers

2. Fetch command not available on all platforms.

3. Too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.

4. Can't help attacking the screen when he hears, "You've got mail."

5. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

6. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he's browsing www.purina.com instead of working.

7. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.

8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.

9. "Sit" and "Stay" were hard enough; "Delete" and "Save" are out of the question!