Sayings that Should be Bumper Stickers or Buttons
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. If I throw a stick, will you leave? Does your train of thought have a caboose? And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...? Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you." Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. Back off! You're standing in my aura. Adults are just kids who owe money. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. You! Off my planet! Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. Do they ever shut up on your planet? I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that? A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
