School Absentee Excuses . . .
The following are apparently actual excuses written by parents and given to teachers:
1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
2. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.
3. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
4. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
5. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
6. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.
7. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.
8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
9. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.
10. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
11. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.
12. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Originally published September 05, 2004.
