We Know You're a Teacher If...
You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!" You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as 'the lounge'. You're sure the lounge should be equipped with a valium salt lick. You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form. You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside. You convinced chocolate is the 5th food group. When you mention "vegetables" you're not talking about a food group. When out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior. You think people should be able to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce. You know you're in for a MAJOR project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun!" You smile weakly, but secretly fantasize about choking a person when they say, "Oh, you must have such fun everyday. It must be like playtime for you." Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this child like this?"
Originally published November 14, 2002.
