Are Men Like . . . ?
Place-Mats: they only show up when there's food on the table.
Mascara: they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Bike Helmets: handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Government Bonds: they take so long to mature.
Lava Lamps: fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Bank Accounts: without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
High Heels: they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Curling Irons: they're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
Computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Coolers: Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere.
Horoscopes: They always tell you what to do, and they're usually wrong.
Plungers: They spend most of their time in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Originally published June 25, 2005.
