Clean Reasons Why It's Great to be A Guy

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. You know stuff about tanks.
3. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. Monday Night Football.
5. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
6. You can open all your own jars.
7. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
8. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
9. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
10. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
11. Your last name stays put.
12. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
13. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. (or maybe you do!)
14. The garage is all yours.
15. You can kill your own food.
16. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
17. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
18. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
19. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
20. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
21. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
22. You don't have to shave below your neck.
23. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
24. Everything on your face stays its original color.
25. Chocolate is just another snack.
26. You can be president.
27. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
28. Flowers fix everything.
29. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
30. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
31. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
32. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
33. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
34. You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
35. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.
36. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your spouse is about to leave you.
37. One mood, all the time.
38. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
39. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too sleezy.
40. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
41. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
42. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
43. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
44. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
45. The remote is yours and yours alone.
46. ESPN's sports center.
47. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
48. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
49. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
50. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your riends you've changed.
51. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
52. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
53. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
54. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
55. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
56. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
57. There is always a game on somewhere
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(c) 1999 New Life Network.