- Make the beds ...... What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that. Scratch one.
- Drop your shirts off at the cleaners ....... Duhh ... I'm on vacation, I don't need them. Scratch three. This is easy, what's the fuss? Think I'll go on the computer for a while.
- Clean out Tupperware cabinet ....... Uhhhh, that's a hard one. GOT IT, velcro on the door will keep them closed. Scratch four.
- Mop kitchen floor ..... The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me. Scratch five. Good doggie, go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow.
- Find something fun for the kids to do ..... That tinfoil in the microwave thing was kinda fun. Scratch it off. This is way too easy. I'll have lots of time for the computer.
- Vacuum the carpets ...... That's a hard one ... Hey kids, wanna have some more FUN? Scratch onr more.
- Feed kids lunch ..... Hey kids, don't you have a friend's house to go to? YESSSS! Scratch another!!
- 9). Clean out hallway closet ...... Hmmmm ... another hard one. That's it, take enough out of the closet to close the door. Outta sight, outta mind. Hmmmm ... this other stuff can go under a bed. Scratch eight. Boy oh boy am I good. Lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag & eat. Taaa daaa, no lunch dishes.
- Do laundry ..... no problem. I can do that while I'm on the computer. Scratch nine.
- Fold laundry ..... Wow! Ya know, I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask da little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear?? Check this out -- a cashmere Barbie sweater, cool. Scratch ten.
- Put the laundry away .... Baskets in bedrooms work for me. Scratch one more. This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about housework?
- Water the Christmas tree ... Ooooops, good thing the carpet is absorbent. Scratch that one!
- Grocery shopping. Buy toilet paper ....... These old newspapers will do, besides, that's recycling & that's good for the earth ... Scratch that one too!.
- Pick up the kids ...... Yeah, right; we're talking about my kids here. Parents will normally pay to drop them back off. They'll be back. Scratch fourteen. Wonder who's on the computer. I have plenty of time.
- Make dinner ..... Easy. "Hello, do you deliver? Uhhh, double that. Ya know, we will need more dinner tomorrow." Scratch this one. WOW all done. Still time for some more 'puter and a nap ... Man, this is sooooo easy.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
