Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
Published Jun 16, 2005
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"I bet you're about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Whoa, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"I finished the Oreo's."
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
Originally published June 17, 2005.
