Good Advice
A lady golfer visits a driving range to tone up before a game. She is about to drive her first ball off the mat when she notices the man next to her.
"Pardon me, sir" she said. "You are aiming in the wrong direction - back towards the golf shop. You need to hit over there."
"Oy! - tanks for dat. Vitout you, I vouldn't know. I'm a bit confused by dis game."
He then turned around and started hitting out into the range. After a few minutes, he asked the lady how he was doing.
"Not bad." she answered. "Most of your shots are long. But you might want to turn your hand over to correct that slice you seem to have."
"Tanks, again, Miss." he replied. "Vitout you telling, I vouldn't know dese tings."
A few shots later, he inquired again. "Do you mind I should ask a poisonal qvestion?"
"Not at all," she replied.
"I don't do vell vit the ladies. Am I ugly or fett or vat?"
"You're quite presentable," she replied. "I don't think that is your problem.
Smiling now, he said, "Vat a relief. I vas always afraid to ask. Again, I got to tank you."
He was about to hit another ball when the girl interrupted, "Do you mind if I give you a bit of advice?"
"Vit gladness, tank gott. All the help you got I vill take." he answered.
"Get rid of the Yiddish accent," she replied. "You're Chinese."
Originally published April 30, 2004.
