Growing Old Gracefully
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my Memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose.
Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven't made one called
"Buns of Putty."
Don't think of it as getting hot flashes.
Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.
Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing.
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Originally published March 05, 2005.
