Hello, I'm A Senior Citizen
There's some things you need to know. Soon as I remember I'll tell you what they are. I'm the Life of the Party .......even when it lasts 'till 7pm. However, I'm Usually interested in goin' home long before I get to where I'm goin'. I'm Smilin' all the time, cause I can't hear a word you're sayin'. I'm also good at tellin' Stories...... over and over and over again! I'm good on a trip for at least an hour, without my BenGay, Aspirin, Antacid...... I'm even good at opening Childproof caps...... With a Hammer! I'm for Sure aware that other people's Grandchildren aren't as bright as mine. Ever noticed that they're making Adults much Younger these days? I'm Positive I did housework correctly before the Internet. And, I'm sure everything I can't find, is in a secure place. I'm a walking storeroom of facts ..... I've just misplaced the storeroom. I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my spouse. I'm awake Many Hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm in the *Initial* state of my Golden Years: SS, Cd's, IRA's, AARP I've been wondering, If you're only as old as you feel, how could I still be alive since I 'passed' 50? I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care, and Medicare! I'm having trouble remembering simple words like..... duh.... I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my right leg. I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies. I'm not Grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, enemas, politicians..... I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory, and just generally antipodal. I'm a Senior Citizen and I'm told I'm having the time of my Life!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
