How To Dress When You're Over 50
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50 or hovering somewhere around 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to be nice and conform to the fashions that the designers in NYC, California and/or Paris inflict upon the world. So I made a sincere study of the situation and here are the results.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. In-line skates and a walker
Originally published July 22, 2004.
