If Men Got Pregnant

* Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay.

* There would be a cure for stretch marks.

* Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

* Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

* All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

* Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

* Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

* They wouldn't think twins were so cute.

* Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.

* Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

* Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

* They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

* Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.

* Women would rule the world.

Originally published November 14, 2002.