Making a Marriage Last

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food and good companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Melbourne and mine is in Sydney.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the river."

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

Remember ... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.