Medicine Bottle Caps
The people designing caps for medicine bottles must be twenty years old First you must align the arrow on the cap with the arrow on the bottle except that the arrow is so faint you can't see it or...... You must push the cap down hard before you twist it open except that no matter how hard you push nothing happens or...... You must first take off the plastic around the cap except that it is so tight that even scissors can't make a dent in it or......... You must pry open the cap by lifting it upward except that all your nails break your fingers get raw and the bottle stays closed or............. There is an arrow on top of the cap that indicates the direction to twist it except that when you twist as directed the bottle locks up permanently In other words, medicine bottles are indeed childproof as well as people proof Throwing it against a wall does not work nor does stomping on it or cursing it And calling on a neighbor won't help... unless of course the neighbor is twenty years old!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
