Men!

"That's women's work."
MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.

"Will you marry me?"
MEANS: Both of my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there's no milk left.

"It's a guy thing."
MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

"Can I help with dinner?"
MEANS: Why isn't it already on the table?

"It would take too long to explain."
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
MEANS: The batteries in the remote are dead.

"We're going to be late."
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
MEANS: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

"That's interesting dear."
MEANS: Are you still talking?

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.

"You expect too much from me."
MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?

"It's really a good movie."
MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and half clothed women.