Quotes for Marriage

"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." - Ann Bancroft

"Any husband who says, 'My wife and I are completely equal partners,' is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge." - Bill Cosby

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." - Rita Rudner

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut after." - Benjamin Franklin

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." - henny Youngman

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." - Milton Berle

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." - George Burns

"When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking." -Elaine Boosler

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." - Phyllis Diller

"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping." - Rita Rudner

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman

"At a party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ringon the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.' - Anonymous

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they are beautiful." - Anonymous