- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
- No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
- Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.
- Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
