Signs That That, Sadly, You've Grown UP!
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favourite song on an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel. - And like it!
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those crazy kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old self.
Originally published February 21, 2004.
