- You think Harry Potter was the old guy in charge on M*A*S*H
- Britney Spears & Chiristina Aguilera, you'd swear, was kids of Debbie Gibson
- You still love loud music, just classical.
- You leave work on time, fight the traffic to rush home to slip into a nice comfy pair of house shoes and a glass of milk.
- Living on "the edge" means going to work without, repeat WITHOUT, a glass of juice.
- Actually looking at and understanding the meaning of gas prices.
- Actually driving around looking for bargains on gas or items at grocery stores
- Looking at the ads in the paper, ever!
- Home first priority. Car second. Partying? #398th priority.
- Society's definition of partying: dancin, wailin and carryin on.
Your definition: TV, food (snacks) and a card game with the neighbors. - Making money is foremost on your mind.
- You call youth of today "youngins", "child", "annoying little carbon based bags of hormones".
- You understand Plato, you do not understand the success of the TV show "Survivor".
- When someone says "cool", you reach for your jacket or sweater.
- You wear sweaters.
- You drink coffee as a requirement, not for the taste.
- You actually slow down when the light turns yellow.
- The slower you go when turning is in direct relation to your oldness.
- The bigger the car you have, the older you are.
- You wonder when the Grateful Dead or The Eagles next tour is.
- You forget things then repeat em. You forget things.
- Your daily language always involves medical disccusion and or your health.
- You look in the mirror in the mornings and realize that the old guy looking back...Is YOU!
- You begin to tell long winded stories.
- Your sense of humor has disappeared, as has your hair and eyesight.
- You drive with your left turn signal flashing because you like the pretty sound it makes and the color of the light on your dash.
- A majority of your friends were made at funerals, hospitals or Bingo games.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
