Gender/Age Battles

The Senior Alphabet

Jan 06, 2005
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The Senior Alphabet

The Senior Alphabet

      A  for arthritis,
      B  for bad back,
      C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac?
      D is for dental decay and decline,
      E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.

      F is for fissures and fluid retention
      G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention
      H high blood pressure (I'd rather have low)
      I for incisions  with scars you can show.

      J is for joints, that now fail to flex

      L for libido--what happened to sex?
      Wait! I forgot about K!
      K is for my knees that crack when they're bent
      (Please forgive me, my Memory ain't worth a cent)

      N for neurosis, pinched nerves and stiff neck

      O is for osteo- and all bones that crack
      P for prescriptions, I have quite a few
      Give me another pill; I'll be good as new!

      Q is for queasiness. Fatal or flu?
      R is for reflux--one meal turns into two

      S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears
      T for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears
      U is for urinary: difficulties with flow
      V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy", you know.
      W is worry, now what's going 'round?
      X is for X ray--and what might be found.

      Y  for another year I've left behind
      Z is for zest  that I still have my mind,

      Having survived all the symptoms my body's deployed,
      And kept twenty-six doctors gainfully employed!!!

Originally published January 07, 2005.

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