When Age Happens

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

I don't date women my age. There aren't any. (Milton Berle)

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. (Robert Benchley)

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news - the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.