You Know You Are Getting Older When. . .
1 You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
2 You can't live without glasses.
3 Your back goes out more than you do.
4 You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
5 You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
6 You are proud of your lawn mower.
7 Your best friend is dating someone half his age, and isn't breaking any laws.
8 Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
9 You sing along with the elevator music.
10 You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
11 You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
12 You make an appointment to see the dentist.
13 You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14 People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
15 You answer a question with, "Because I said so"
16 You send money to PBS.
17 The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
18 You take a metal detector to the beach.
19 You wear black socks with sandals.
20 You know what the word "equity" means.
21 You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. (and got up without PAIN)
22 Your ears are hairier than your head.
23 You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
24 You got cable for the weather channel. ("Old Folks MTV")
25 You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
26 Someone thought of you and sent you this list . . .
Originally published November 14, 2002.
