A Sad Passing

THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY - DEAD AT 71

Veteran Pillsbuty spokesman: The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including, Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostest Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many others.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the euloghy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, waisting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is servived by his second wife, Play Dough. The have two children and one in the oven.