General Humor

Dieting Under Stress

Oct 14, 2004
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Dieting Under Stress

This diet was designed to help you cope with stress that builds up during the day.

Breakfast
1/2 Grapefruit
1 slice hole Wheat toast, dry
8 oz. Skim Milk

Lunch
4 oz. lean broiled chicken
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-afternoon Snack
rest of Oreo's in package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts cherries, whipped cream

Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread
Large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
4 cans or one large pitcher of soda
3 Milky Way candy bars

Late Evening News

Entire Frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET

1.  If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, It has no calories.

2.  If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda.

3.When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4.  Food used  for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5.  If you fatten up everyone around you, then you will look thinner.

6.  Movie related foods do not have additional calories because  they are a part of the entire entertainment package and not a part of one's personal fuel such as Buttered popcorn, Junior mints  and
tootsie rolls.

7.  Cookie pieces contain no calories.  The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8.  Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of making something.  Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

9.  Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.  Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream and white chocolate and mushrooms.

Note.  Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other color

Originally published October 15, 2004.

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