Mail Order Christmas
Published Jan 01, 1900
'Twas the week before Christmas, the sunlight was pale. The payments were made a full month in advance, When what to my wandering mind should transpire, with an answering service who doesn't know squat, It's too late to hassle, and nothing else works. But if the mail-order will get the stuff here,
The presents I ordered are not in the mail.
or early enough to leave little to chance.
but the prospect of tag via telephone wire
and an outstanding check, and a balance of WHAT?
I can't send a present, for dealing with jerks.
I'll try to have something in time for next year.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
