My mother taught me ... part 2
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE My mother taught me RELIGION My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL My mother taught me LOGIC My mother taught me FORESIGHT My mother taught me IRONY My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM My mother taught me about STAMINA My mother taught me about WEATHER My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION My mother taught me about ENVY
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
"Because I said so, that's why."
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you would you listen then?"
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
"Stop acting like your father!"
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
Originally published November 14, 2002.
