Officer Efficiency Report

* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

* Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

* A room temperature IQ.

* Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

* A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

* Bright as Alas in December.

* Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming

* So dense, light bends around him.

* If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

* If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

* Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.