Building a campfire is easy. just follow these sixteen steps (in order):- Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
- Bandage left thumb.
- Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
- Bandage left foot.
- Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand).
- Light Match.
- Light Match.
- Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.
- Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.
- Apply burn ointment to nose.
- When fire is burning, collect more wood.
- Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."
- Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.
- Relabel can to read "gasoline."
- When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.
- When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
