The Problem of Gravity
Published Jan 01, 1900
Dave Barry wrote an article on the problem of gravity,
"I have been following this issue for many years, and in my opinion, gravity is getting worse than ever. For example, last year several hundred alert readers sent me articles from various publications concerning an incident that occurred in the Sea of Japan, wherein a Japanese fishing boat was sunk by a falling cow. It seems the crew of a Russian military cargo jet had stolen some cows in Siberia and was flying them home when the cows became upset, perhaps because there was no in-flight movie. So the cows stampeded, and the crew, fearing that the plane would crash, opened the cargo door and let the cows run out of the plane at an altitude of 30,000 feet, which is somewhat in excess of the Recommended Safe Falling Distance for Cows of 1.3 inches. So you had these cows raining down on the Sea of Japan, and one of them, unfortunately, failed to land on George Steinbrenner. But it did allegedly strike the Japanese fishing boat, which sank. The fishermen all survived, although I am betting that they had an unpleasant talk with their insurance agent."
"I have been following this issue for many years, and in my opinion, gravity is getting worse than ever. For example, last year several hundred alert readers sent me articles from various publications concerning an incident that occurred in the Sea of Japan, wherein a Japanese fishing boat was sunk by a falling cow. It seems the crew of a Russian military cargo jet had stolen some cows in Siberia and was flying them home when the cows became upset, perhaps because there was no in-flight movie. So the cows stampeded, and the crew, fearing that the plane would crash, opened the cargo door and let the cows run out of the plane at an altitude of 30,000 feet, which is somewhat in excess of the Recommended Safe Falling Distance for Cows of 1.3 inches. So you had these cows raining down on the Sea of Japan, and one of them, unfortunately, failed to land on George Steinbrenner. But it did allegedly strike the Japanese fishing boat, which sank. The fishermen all survived, although I am betting that they had an unpleasant talk with their insurance agent."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
