Things I Learned During our Last Hurricane
Published Aug 10, 2005
* Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill
* No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity
* My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it)
* Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
* Cats are even more irritating without power
* He who has the biggest generator wins
* Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish they weren't around you
* A new method of non-lethal torture- showers without hot water.
More Things I learned during our last hurricane
* There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
* TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time brother
* A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
* There are a lot of dang trees around here
* Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.
* Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
* Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators
* People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
* When required, a Lincoln Continental will float, doesn't steer well but floats just the same.
Even MORE Things I learned during our last hurricane
* Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing
* Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged
* 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!
* Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
* If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators . . . I'd be rich
* Price of a can of soup rises 200% in a storm
* Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
* Tree service companies are under appreciated.
* I learned what happens when you make fun of another states' blackout.
* MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill ????
* Drywall is a compound word, take away the 'dry" part and its worthless
* I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
* Water will indeed fill the Midtown tunnel if the floodgates aren't shut during a flood. I was pretty sure that was true but it has now been proven.
Originally published August 11, 2005.
