Three Turtles

Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and says, "Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring the bottle opener," Steve says. 'I thought you packed it."
Joe gets worried. He turns to Poncho. "Poncho, do you have the bottle opener?"
Naturally, Poncho doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steadily.
Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless.
"I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts. "We promised."
Five more days pass and the two are near starvation. Near death, the two turtles weakly lift the lid to get a sandwich. As they open their mouths to eat, Poncho pops out behind a rock, and says, "Just for that, I'm not going!"
Originally published December 12, 2002.