Who says cops don't have a sense of humor?
"Relax. The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, and eat cotton candy." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "In God we trust. All others we run through NCIC." "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." Submitted by: Nanci B.
Thanks!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
