Words to Live By As We Mature

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

Stress reducer: Put a bag on your head. Mark it "Closed for remodeling." . . . . caution - leave air holes.

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.