Good News
Published Sep 10, 2003
The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.
They say the house didn't float very far at all.
The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work.
Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show.
The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.
The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.
Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don't worry about it.
The boss said while you're sick, he'd do all your work personally.
Originally published September 11, 2003.
