Laws Of Slow People

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don't know each other.

2. They drive side by side, too. If they can't find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.

3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.

4. Slow people drift sideways, so they will block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people, or vehicles, are trying to get around the slow people at the same time, the slow people drift into the path of the one who is moving at the highest speed.

5. Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you'll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.

P.S. Be nice to slow people .... they're the ones who will call 911 for you when you crash into something hurrying home so you don't miss that re-run of "Happy Days"!

Originally published November 14, 2002.

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