Top Ten Gifts You DO NOT Want to Find Under the Tree!
10. A Ronco Spam-O-Matic! 9. A Chia Godzilla!! 8. "999 Disco Hits of the 70's" preformed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! 7. A gift certificate to the "Fur Be Gone Boutique" for back-hair removal! 6. 5 pounds of synthetic pepperoni guaranteed "fresh for a millennium"! 5. A life-time supply of corn pads! 4. Recycled car tires made into underwear! (Hey, you're an environmentalist with the best of them, but . . .) 3. "24 Polka Interpretations of Stairway to Heaven" by Igmar and His Mystic Accordion! 2. A year's subscription to the "Non-dairy Creamer of the Month Club"! And the number one gift you do not want to find under your tree is: 1. A note from the Lord saying you were too busy with presents to spend time in His Presence!
Originally published November 14, 2002.
