'Twas The Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Away to the window I flew like a flash, When what to my wondering eyes should appear, The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. "Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall, He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
Driving much faster with just half a load.
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"
Originally published November 14, 2002.