You Just Might be a Scrooge
If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away -- you just might be a Scrooge If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas -- you just might be a Scrooge If your favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" stars Bob Packwood or Bill Clinton -- you just might be a Scrooge If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson -- you just might be a Scrooge If your favorite version of "The Nutcracker" stars Andrew Golata -- you just might be a Scrooge If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night -- you just might be a Scrooge If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts -- you just might be a Scrooge If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park - you just might be a Scrooge If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie -- you just might be a Scrooge If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat - you just might be a Scrooge If you use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets -- you just might be a scrooge If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson -- you just might be a Scrooge If your favorite pasttime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn charicatures with egg nog - you just might be a Scrooge And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin - you just might be a Scrooge
Originally published November 14, 2002.
